Uncategorized

  • i love this...hilarious :) an actual visa! who do we think we are? oh right, amurrica.

     

     

    http://www.unh.edu/oiss/h_o_tn/o1/

     

    The O-1 Visa For "Aliens of Extraordinary Ability"

    The O-1 non-immigrant visa category is for: foreign nationals of "extraordinary ability" in the sciences, arts, education, business, or athletics; certain individuals accompanying or assisting them; and their family members. It can be used for faculty or staff positions of a temporary nature. The employer must submit substantial documentation to the INS as evidence of the individual's extraordinary ability. The INS must approve the employer's petition before the foreign national can be employed or receive compensation.

    Qualifying for the O-1 Visa

    Under federal law there are three different standards for the O-1 category:

    • the most exacting standard applies to those individuals in the sciences, education, business and athletics;
    • a much less rigorous standard applies to individuals in the arts;
    • an intermediate standard applies to individuals in the motion picture or TV industries.

    This document will focus on those individuals in the sciences, education, business and athletics.

    This O-1 visa category is reserved for those individuals who have risen to the very top of their fields of endeavor and can provide provide documentary evidence to substantiate this claim. To qualify for O-1 visa status, an individual in the sciences, education, business or athletics must demonstrate national or international acclaim and recognition for achievements in the field of expertise by providing evidence of:

    1. the receipt of a major, internationally recognized award, OR
    2. at least three of the following:

      • receipt of nationally or internationally recognized prizes or awards for excellence in the field of endeavor;
      • membership in an association in the field which requires outstanding achievements of its members;
      • published material in professional or major trade publications or major media about the individual concerning his/her work in the field. (This documentation must include a copy of the article showing the title, date and author. If the article is not in English, a translation must be provided);
      • evidence of participation on a panel, or individually, as a judge of the work of others. (This can include participation as a panel of experts for a Ph.D. defense and/or review of articles and books prior to publication.);
      • scientific, scholarly, or business-related contributions of major significance to the field. (This documentation should take the form of letters from peers who are considered to be experts in the field attesting to the individuals major contributions.);
      • authorship of scholarly articles in the field in professional journals or other major media;
      • employment in a critical or essential capacity for organizations and establishments that have a distinguished reputation;
      • high salary or other remuneration commanded by the individual for services.(This must be accompanied by contracts or other reliable evidence.);
      • other comparable evidence.

  • random things i just wonder about

     

    why do guys catcall "hey beautiful" and "pretty lady" to you on the street? i mean, seriously, do you think they EVER get any action that way? they must, otherwise why would they keep on doing it? but would any girl ever stop and say "aw, why that's so sweet, let me just get in your truck with you and let's hook up now"?

     

    have you noticed that people are two different types: the type that always starts imitating their friends' way of speech after awhile (the accent pushovers) and the type that holds steady no matter what? have you ever wondered which type you are?

     

    how do celebrities lose so much weight?

     

     

     

     

    how close to breaking down are those crazy people on the subway? they're talkin to themselves angrily, asking for change when they know they'll get ignored...ever wonder if they'll just one day lose it and start beating up one of the passengers or something?

     

     

  • Conan O'Brien hates my country...

    coupla gems for some work-procrastination :D

     

     

     

    Afghanistan
    The bad news is, there's a new article about everyone farming opium.
    The good news is, you can't read.

    Albania
    The perfect getaway for people who love Kosovo, but hate the working phone service.

    Bahrain
    A thriving centre of trade and culture... until 2000 BC!

    Belarus
    Clay, sand, and chalk: Your richest natural resources are what a toddler throws up after a big day at preschool.

    Belgium
    The only European country to never successfully invade Belgium.

    Botswana
    Diamonds are forever; too bad your people check out at 35.

    Burkina Faso
    In the traditional tribal language, that's Burkina for "land of" and Faso for "people who want to get the hell out of Burkina Faso."

    Burma
    The bad news is, you've got rampant malaria. The good news is, it doesn't stop the kids from making those shirts.

    Burundi
    All that coffee in a country with no reason to wake up.

    Cambodia
    How many temples does it take before you guys realize God isn't listening?

    Canada
    With massive overpopulation threatening the globe, Canadians maintain a population of less than 35 million. How do they do it? Zero sex appeal!

    China
    If you're gonna be in prison, it might as well be for no reason.

    Democratic Republic of Congo
    Where even a poor boy with no prospects can grow up to be run over by a presidential motorcade.

    Cote D'Ivoire
    Cocoa, sugar, and mass killings. Are you a country or a Willy Wonka nightmare?

    Djibouti
    Imagine how great life would be if you had the rich natural resources of Ethiopia.

    Dominican Republic
    The perfect place for anyone who's ever asked themself "Where'd my car go?"

    East Timor
    It takes a lot to admit you live on the bad side of Timor.

    Ethiopia
    I can't do this one, let's move on.

    France
    You gave us the term "deja vu," as in "Wow, I have this weird feeling you've been obnoxious and arrogant before. Deja vu!"

    (Wait a miniute, this is France, so I think I can't do just one.)

    France
    Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Gauguin, Manet: You're number one when it comes to great minds that died of syphillis.

    Germany
    The great 20th-century power that said, "Ditch Einstein, get Hasselhoff."

    Guyana
    The Eskimos have sixty words for "snow." The Guyanans have eighty words for "dysentery."

    Iceland
    I'm amazed you don't have a military. How do you protect your 85,000 square miles of uninhabitable land?

    India
    A nation so richly diverse, you can walk into a single neighborhood and find cholera, dengue fever, malaria, typhoid, and plague.

    Iran
    Just two more years 'til you have a nuclear warhead, and two years and a day 'til you use it on a woman holding a beer.

    Ireland
    You know, there's a wonderful old Irish legend that goes something like this: Once upon a time, many years ago, there was an Irishman who could hold down a job.

    Japan
    Last century, you brutally defeated China and Russia. This century, you make Hello Kitty toasters.

    Luxembourg
    Come visit our country, but make sure you also have an afternoon activity.

    Malta
    Brimming with culture, history, and mustachioed Sicilian hookers.

    Marshall Islands
    To write a joke about your country, we Googled it. No results were found.

    Monaco
    Where Eurotrash goes to gamble away their facelift money.

    Mongolia
    Where Chinese freedom meets Siberian comfort.

    Nepal
    Home to eight of the world's highest peaks; nine if you count your unemployment rate.

    The Netherlands
    Congratulations, you've turned 500 years of culture into a pot joke.

    Nicaragua
    Come learn about the heritage of your nanny.

    Nigeria
    Where children come first... in the draft.

    Panama
    Congratulations, you have the second-busiest canal after Paris Hilton.

    Philippines
    Mi casa es su landfill.

    Romania
    Come see our museum of the Middle Ages. We call it "Romania."

    Russia
    The perfect marriage of rampant corruption and tacky track suits.

  • w-wow...

     

     

    I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It is impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and... hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget.
    And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that... these were not monsters. These were men... trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men then our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment. Because it is judgment that defeats us.

     

                                                                                                  -Col. Kurtz, Apocalypse Now

  • I have no idea what is wrong with me but I've morphed into a complete insomniac. Not only can I not sleep, I lie in bed for hours at a time though I'm exhausted, then fall asleep at my desk because I didn't get any sleep the night before.

     

     

    arg.

     

    ***

     

    notes

    in other news I just saw notes on a scandal...it was AMAZING! go see it!! cate blanchett and judy dench are really another (near-Shakespearean) calibre all together...reminiscent of the Professor X-Magneto combo in X-men. cate blanchett's acting was so good it actually makes you kind of feel for her though she's sleeping with a 15-year-old under the train tracks. reminds me of diane lane in Unfaithful, which umm you know i love.

    anyone smell an oscar?

     

  • i've been gifted with the dubious task of figuring how to spend ~3k on a private dinner (necessarily with wine...we're talking co-worker event here) in celebration to the end of, you guessed it, Anonymous Private Equity Deal...

     

    ny natives/residents/fellow corporate cogs: any suggestions for restaurants with good food/good cellar/capable sommelier??

     

    wine

  • it's like speaking another language...

     

    can you pretend for a moment that you were from some alien planet:


    i'd like a tall skim extra-hot triple shot macchiato please.
    whip?
    no whip.
    ok, tall skim extra-hot triple shot no-whip macchiato. anything else?
    and a reduced-fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake.
    oh, we have that in blueberry too.
    no, i want a regular reduced-fat cinnamon swirl coffee cake.

     

     

    geez.

     

     

  • a rant

     

    so i came to an epiphany today and developed way more respect for guy-kind in general. the truth is, there is one thing that you are much more apt at than your fairer counterparts: playing the game.

     

    girls, for sure, appear to play the game as well. but honestly, we don't really play the game, we receive the game...

     

    because we are terrified of losing the game.

     

    scene one: enter an average guy. in a good bar there are what, 2-3 really attractive girls, and probably 10 or so more you would potentially hook up with. that's a dozen, minus the three that came with other guys, the couple your buddy's eyeing (you're a good friend), and that leaves, say, 5-6 open shots. so guy approaches, offers the courtship ritual of an alcoholic beverage, and...

    if b*tchy, the girl rejects him, and he moves on.
    if kind, the girl slowly rejects him (amidst much nervous laughter and platonic pats on the arm), and he lingers a little about what might have been, then moves on.

    Enter an average girl, on the other hand - in a good bar there are probably no guys she's attracted to right away. ok, i'll grant the rare 1 or 2, but he's either a) taken, b) gay, or c) psycho killer/asexual (otherwise, why is he not taken or gay?). in any case, discussion of the pool is a moot point, because the girl will never, EVER approach.

    add the alcohol. in one or two rare cases there might be an approach. but in most cases what happens is this:

    1. average guy approaches...someone the girl wasn't initially attracted to. 6 on a scale of 1-10 (+0.5 for initiative.)
    2. +1 on account of booze, so 7 on a scale of 1-10. starting not to look too bad...
    3. +1 if the guy shows interest. suddenly, he's an 8!

    i think usually that's when things look up for both parties. but let's say, the guy is somehow pickier than the girl had bargained for, takes a really CLOSE look at the girl's face underneath that deceptive, deceptive highlighted hair, accidentally grazes (ew) the muffin-top over the jeans, oddly-shaped arms, etc etc...and changes his mind.

     

    catastrophe!

    the guy could have been just passing time 'til the victoria's secret model stopped talking to the bartender. or, the guy was in fact initially interested, but then something turned him off (it's that muffin-top i tell you!). whatever. in any case...

    there is no such thing as "letting go" in girl language, especially if that original interest had sparked and caught. "letting go" usually means spewing some vituperative lingo in the guy's general direction, then coming home and secretly checking text messages for the next 3+ weeks wondering why the heck he hasn't called, and where something went wrong. what is at first a nasty rampage of the guy turns inevitably into a lesson in self-doubt. was she too fat, too flat, overeager, underinterested? did the skirt hide too much or bare something unpleasant? or, worst of all, was it the MUFFIN TOP? (i'm obsessed with the muffin-top right now, because i feel that i might be developing one after all that holiday eating. it's also obscenely cute imagery for an awful phenomenon.)

    the most interesting question to me is really, why can't we let go?

    is it because, in a world of nicole richies and ashlee simpsons, where beauty can be worked for and bought, to be unattractive is to fail?

    is it because all girls are secretly egocentric and can't believe that any guy would turn down their advances?

    or, is it because...scrolling up to the beginning of my rant here...of an assumption inherent in that first scenario, which is that all guys (well, single, heterosexual guys) just wouldn't mind *ss of some form, so if you're offering *ss and he doesn't take it, there must be something really, REALLY wrong with you?

     

    somewhere in our path of evolution there emerged some divine joke that guys would have to play the game, and take the burden of initiative...but to make it fair, they're pretty much indiscriminate about the quality of *ss. like my wise beautiful twin puts it, guys never mind *ss; they might prefer some better *ss, but they wouldn't really turn down *ss of any kind. it really puts the pressure on, you know? if even Average Joe turns you down...wow...you must be some pretty terrible *ss. or it's the muffin-top.

     

     

     

    muffin

  • happiness is a slightly overwarm, overcrowded room, orange curtains, mismatched cushions. hearty creamed chicken sprinkled with a bit of those sundried tomatoes we couldn't afford. the smell of freshly-baked bread, the laughter of drunken friends. the bohemian glory of crowding somewhere, shoulder to shoulder, fed with only the nourishment of solid conversation.

     

    but happiness fades. time encroaches but slowly, passing us by. room lights pale, just a little, orange-red to orange-grey. food tastes a little simpler, a little cleaner, a little colder. air is controlled a little better, a little more like the ideal 72 degrees that is room temperature. friends dwindle in numbers, each heading for a separate dream on a different horizon.

     

    at the end, this is the room that was us - and all that is left is the mismatched cushions.  

     

     

    ***

     

    in other news, hilarity :D

     

    AnonymousFriend: yeah, i think half the fun of drinking is being able ot get away with stuff

     

    so true. SO true.

  • too extravagant?

     

    (i'm tempted.)

    the ridiculous part isn't the helicopter...it's that the cost is only twice of that of an NY cab to JFK.

Recent Posts

Categories