June 1, 2003

  • "I don't know the secret to success, but the secret of failure is trying to please everybody."


    -Bill Cosby

    *~*~*


    oh god, i feel like such crap


    *~*~*


    true confessions no. 31


     


    I walked by his grave today


    thinking of autumn


    leaves falling


    softly


    thinking of autumn



    *~*~*


    sketches no. 57


     


    o...how could i bear to be anything but barren? how could any self-respecting mother bear to bring to this world a part of her own; a living, breathing, bundle of sin?


    from day one, the control of desire will be its preoccupation; before then, it is ethereal, existing only in between life and nether, the sheer breath of God.


    and then, upon its first breath of this foul air, a perpetual struggle, a perpetual sin.


    the daemon that froths at the mouth is to be pitied, for i have seen...i have seen that look, beneath hissing teeth and limbs weak with atrophy, that it is not greed, nor pride, nor wrath, nor gluttony, nor vainglory-but suffering.


    o, i have seen the eyes of the unborn, that are clear, tainted in their first dip into this foul air, sunk into grey depths better left untouched. o, i have seen...in their eyes, when they are consuming food with their downturned eyes, attempting to ignore this grotesque impregnation upon their cleanliness, or engaging in guilty love with teeth clenched in the agony of that sullied pleasure, or finally falling into the dreariest regions of drunkenness, through dim-lit forest where the willows dip their downwards-arching branches with a graceless fatigue; through the moss and the wetness of the color grey, that paints the sky and wipes cold, clammy fingers across their foreheads...


    this is where they turn to find their refuge, after their hearts have turned inside-out from the sickness of corporeal existence, that you so thoughtlessly smeared on their bodies with ...


    these are the angels you have dared pluck from the sky.

Comments (1)

  • Damn, the talent's there.  Time to subscribe.

    "Thinking of autumn" is a very common image/phrase in Chinese poetry.

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