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  • on a similar (and equally obnoxious) note...my bro was studying SATs while watching BET with me and it suddenly occurred to me that it'd 
    be kinda interesting to have a SAT II: Rap English.
     



    Passage IX

    The below passage is taken from by the popular ballad Me and U by Cassie.

    (intro-)

    it's me and you
    now
    i've been waiting,i think i gonna make that move
    now
    baby tell me how you like it 5

    [Verse 1]
    U've been waiting so long, I'm here to answer your calls
    I know that I shouldn't have had you waiting at all
    I've been so busy, but I've been thinking 'bout- what I wanna do wit you
    I know them other guys, they've been talking 'bout the way I do what I do
    They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true 10
    They know your the one I wanna give it to
    I can see you want me too...Now it's Me & U

    [Hook]
    It's Me & U now (uh) I've been waiting (waitin)
    Think I'm gonna make that move now
    Baby Tell me if you like it (tell me if you like it) 15
    It's Me & U now
    I've been waitin
    Think I'm gonna make that move now
    Baby tell me how you like it

    [Verse 2]
    I was waitin for you to tell me you were ready 20
    I know what to do if only you would let me
    As long as your cool with it I'll treat ya right
    Here is where you wanna be
    I know them other guys, they've been talkin 'bout the way I do what I do
    They heard I was good they wanna see if it's true 25
    They know you r the one I wanna give it to
    I can see you want me too
    And now it's Me & U

    [Chorus]
    It's Me & U now (baby it's)
    I've been waitin (Me & U) 30
    Think I'm gonna make that move now (I'm thinkin 'bout making that move)
    Baby tell me if you like it (Tell me if you like it, uh huh, hey!)
    Think I'm gonna make that move now (gonna make a move)
    Baby tell me how you like it

    [Bridge]
    Baby I'll love you all the way down (uh) 35
    Get you right where you like it
    I promise you'll like it (I swear)
    Just relax and let me make that move (It's our secret babe)
    We'll keep it between Me & U
     




    1. In line 5, "it" most likely refers to
    a. drugs
    b. miscellaneous sexual favors
    c. a dance move
    d. eggs



    2. The narrator's profession is most likely:
    a. stripper
    b. pimp
    c. prostitute
    d. general manager of Bank of America



    3. Which of the following best describes the narrator's tone?
    a. frustrated but objective
    b. passionate but uncaring
    c. endearing but cautious
    d. tolerant but promiscuous


    4. In line 11, "it" most likely refers to the narrator's:
    a. body
    b. drugs
    c. pimp
    d. services


    5. The use of "all the way down" in line 35 most likely references:
    a. the fact that the narrator lives in the Deep South
    b. a popularly used analogy
    c. a series of body parts
    d. the author's secret desire to move to Australia


    6. The title "Me and U" is used in place of "Me and You" most likely because

    I. it emphasizes "U" over "Me"
    II. it references a previous work, "I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears
    III. it simulates the tone of a text message

    a. I and II only
    b. I only
    c. I and III only
    d. I, II, and III


    7. If the passage were to continue, the narrator would most likely
    a. explain why she wants to "give it to U"
    b. incorporate the voice of a friend
    c. try to persuade with objective evidence
    d. give a precise time and location where she will "give it to U"
     
    scroll down for answers. i wanna see how U do 
     
     
     
     
     
    1.c 2.a 3.c 4.d 5.c 6.d 7.a
     
     
    ***
    miscellaneous thoughts
    1. hugh jackman is hot. but i must be gettin old if i'm saying that...
    2. what did we do without cell phones? how did we survive?
    3. people need to update their xangas more! what else is a bored person like me gonna do all day, otherwise...

  • no WAY!


    Where’s Mao? Chinese Revise History Books



    Published: September 1, 2006

    BEIJING, Aug. 31 — When high school students in Shanghai
    crack their history textbooks this fall they may be in for a surprise.
    The new standard world history text drops wars, dynasties and Communist
    revolutions in favor of colorful tutorials on economics, technology,
    social customs and globalization.

    Socialism has been
    reduced to a single, short chapter in the senior high school history
    course. Chinese Communism before the economic reform that began in 1979
    is covered in a sentence. The text mentions Mao only once — in a
    chapter on etiquette.

    Nearly overnight the country’s most
    prosperous schools have shelved the Marxist template that had dominated
    standard history texts since the 1950’s. The changes passed high-level
    scrutiny, the authors say, and are part of a broader effort to promote
    a more stable, less violent view of Chinese history that serves today’s
    economic and political goals.

    Supporters say the overhaul
    enlivens mandatory history courses for junior and senior high school
    students and better prepares them for life in the real world. The old
    textbooks, not unlike the ruling Communist Party, changed relatively
    little in the last quarter-century of market-oriented economic reforms.
    They were glaringly out of sync with realities students face outside
    the classroom. But critics say the textbooks trade one political agenda
    for another.

    They do not so much rewrite history as diminish it.
    The one-party state, having largely abandoned its official ideology,
    prefers people to think more about the future than the past.

    The
    new text focuses on ideas and buzzwords that dominate the state-run
    media and official discourse: economic growth, innovation, foreign
    trade, political stability, respect for diverse cultures and social
    harmony.

    J. P. Morgan, Bill Gates, the New York Stock Exchange, the space shuttle and Japan’s bullet train are all highlighted. There is a lesson on how neckties became fashionable.

    The
    French and Bolshevik Revolutions, once seen as turning points in world
    history, now get far less attention. Mao, the Long March, colonial
    oppression of China and the Rape of Nanjing are taught only in a compressed history curriculum in junior high.

    “Our
    traditional version of history was focused on ideology and national
    identity,” said Zhu Xueqin, a historian at Shanghai University. “The
    new history is less ideological, and that suits the political goals of
    today.”

    The changes are at least initially limited to Shanghai.
    That elite urban region has leeway to alter its curriculum and
    textbooks, and in the past it has introduced advances that the central
    government has instructed the rest of the country to follow.

    But
    the textbooks have provoked a lively debate among historians ahead of
    their full-scale introduction in Shanghai in the fall term. Several
    Shanghai schools began using the texts experimentally in the last
    school year.

    Many scholars said they did not regret leaving
    behind the Marxist perspective in history courses. It is still taught
    in required classes on politics. But some criticized what they saw as
    an effort to minimize history altogether. Chinese and world history in
    junior high have been compressed into two years from three, while the
    single year in senior high devoted to history now focuses on cultures,
    ideas and civilizations.

    “The junior high textbook castrates
    history, while the senior high school textbook eliminates it entirely,”
    one Shanghai history teacher wrote in an online discussion. The teacher
    asked to remain anonymous because he was criticizing the education
    authorities.

    Zhou Chunsheng, a professor at Shanghai Normal
    University and one of the lead authors of the new textbook series, said
    his purpose was to rescue history from its traditional emphasis on
    leaders and wars and to make people and societies the central theme.

    “History
    does not belong to emperors or generals,” Mr. Zhou said in an
    interview. “It belongs to the people. It may take some time for others
    to accept this, naturally, but a similar process has long been under
    way in Europe and the United States.”

    Mr. Zhou said the new
    textbooks followed the ideas of the French historian Fernand Braudel.
    Mr. Braudel advocated including culture, religion, social customs,
    economics and ideology into a new “total history.” That approach has
    been popular in many Western countries for more than half a century.

    Mr.
    Braudel elevated history above the ideology of any nation. China has
    steadily moved away from its ruling ideology of Communism, but the
    Shanghai textbooks are the first to try examining it as a phenomenon
    rather than preaching it as the truth.

    Socialism is still
    referred to as having a “glorious future.” But the concept is reduced
    to one of 52 chapters in the senior high school text. Revolutionary
    socialism gets less emphasis than the Industrial Revolution and the
    information revolution.

    Students now study Mao — still
    officially revered as the founding father of modern China but no longer
    regularly promoted as an influence on policy — only in junior high. In
    the senior high school text, he is mentioned fleetingly as part of a
    lesson on the custom of lowering flags to half-staff at state funerals,
    like Mao’s in 1976.

    Deng Xiaoping,
    who began China’s market-oriented reforms, appears in the junior and
    senior high school versions, with emphasis on his economic vision.

    Gerald
    A. Postiglione, an associate professor of education at the University
    of Hong Kong, said mainland Chinese education authorities had searched
    for ways to make the school curriculum more relevant.

    “The
    emphasis is on producing innovative thinking and preparing students for
    a global discourse,” he said. “It is natural that they would ask
    whether a history textbook that talks so much about Chinese suffering
    during the colonial era is really creating the kind of sophisticated
    talent they want for today’s Shanghai.”

    That does not mean
    history and politics have been disentangled. Early this year a
    prominent Chinese historian, Yuan Weishi, wrote an essay that
    criticized Chinese textbooks for whitewashing the savagery of the Boxer
    Rebellion, the violent movement against foreigners in China at the
    beginning of the 20th century. He called for a more balanced analysis
    of what provoked foreign interventions at the time.

    In response,
    the popular newspaper supplement Freezing Point, which carried his
    essay, was temporarily shut down and its editors were fired. When it
    reopened, Freezing Point ran an essay that rebuked Mr. Yuan, a warning
    that many historical topics remained too delicate to discuss in the
    popular media.

    The Shanghai textbook revisions do not address
    many domestic and foreign concerns about the biased way Chinese schools
    teach recent history. Like the old textbooks, for example, the new ones
    play down historic errors or atrocities like the Great Leap Forward,
    the Cultural Revolution and the army crackdown on peaceful
    pro-democracy demonstrators in 1989.

    The junior high school
    textbook still uses boilerplate idioms to condemn Japan’s invasion of
    China in the 1930’s and includes little about Tokyo’s peaceful,
    democratic postwar development. It will do little to assuage Japanese
    concerns that Chinese imbibe hatred of Japan from a young age.

    Yet
    over all, the reduction in time spent studying history and the
    inclusion of new topics, like culture and technology, mean that the
    content of the core Chinese history course has contracted sharply.

    The
    new textbook leaves out some milestones of ancient history. Shanghai
    students will no longer learn that Qin Shihuang, who unified the
    country and became China’s first emperor, ordered a campaign to burn
    books and kill scholars, to wipe out intellectual resistance to his
    rule. The text bypasses well-known rebellions and coups that shook or
    toppled the Zhou, Sui, Tang and Ming dynasties.

    It does not
    mention the resistance by Han Chinese, the country’s dominant ethnic
    group, to Kublai Khan’s invasion and the founding of the
    Mongol-controlled Yuan dynasty. Wen Tianxiang, a Han Chinese prime
    minister who became the country’s most transcendent symbol of loyalty
    and patriotism when he refused to serve the Mongol invaders, is also
    left out.

    Some of those historic facts and personalities have
    been replaced with references to old customs and fashions, prompting
    some critics to say that history teaching has lost focus.

    “Would
    you rather students remember the design of ancient robes, or that the
    Qin dynasty unified China in 221 B.C.?” one high school teacher quipped
    in an online forum for history experts.

    Others speculated that the Shanghai textbooks reflected the political viewpoints of China’s top leaders, including Jiang Zemin, the former president and Communist Party chief, and his successor, Hu Jintao.

    Mr.
    Jiang’s “Three Represents” slogan aimed to broaden the Communist
    Party’s mandate and dilute its traditional emphasis on class struggle.
    Mr. Hu coined the phrase “harmonious society,” which analysts say aims
    to persuade people to build a stable, prosperous, unified China under
    one-party rule.

    The new textbooks de-emphasize dynastic change,
    peasant struggle, ethnic rivalry and war, some critics say, because the
    leadership does not want people thinking that such things matter a
    great deal. Officials prefer to create the impression that Chinese
    through the ages cared more about innovation, technology and trade
    relationships with the outside world.

    Mr. Zhou, the Shanghai
    scholar who helped write the textbooks, says the new history does
    present a more harmonious image of China’s past. But he says the
    alterations “do not come from someone’s political slogan,” but rather
    reflect a sea change in thinking about what students need to know.

    “The
    government has a big role in approving textbooks,” he said. “But the
    goal of our work is not politics. It is to make the study of history
    more mainstream and prepare our students for a new era.”

  • and in the midst of reading difficult and esoteric literature...i finally figured it out! it's easy. you can do it too.

    how to write a profound novel

    1. pick your theme:
          a. totalitarian government
          b. soldiers who don't want to go to war, but have to
          c. racism in the deep south
          d. just random people in the deep south
    2. imput biblical references. there's nothing literary critics like to pick up on as much as "so-and-so appears to be a Christ figure" or "this title references such-and-such passages in the Old Testament."
    3. string together words that don't usually go together...with equal parts ideas and concrete nouns. take...let's say...love, horizon, and piracy. add pinch of unconventional punctuation.
        eg. her love was inscrutable, teetering on the edge of the horizon; a piracy.
    4. at least one person has to die. if no one dies, your novel is not profound...sorry.
    5. most importantly...use realllly confusing language...so that when literary critics see your work, they won't understand it either, and have to use even more confusing language to cover up their insufficiency. when the readers read these layers upon layers of confusing language, they won't get it either...and therefore it's simply profound.

    text: absalom, absalom! cried he- and it was as the end. the innumerous emancipations of impotent dreams with feet dragging in dry dust following him like noisome shadows did not relent, and thus, the end was as the beginning. and because such an inception could not be tolerated in any logical flow of rationality and existential furor, both the beginning and the end were simply of desolation.

    criticism: J. Li references Absalom, the power-hungry third son of David, in order to invoke the sheer impotent ambition of the protagonist following the death of his wife. The author's choice of the imagery of noisome shadows is masterfully placed and calls upon the images of skeletons as in Ezekiel's famous valley of dried bones. This analogy, therefore, attaches to the passage a double meaning; just as God granted the breath of life to the dry bones, the protagonist hopes, but ultimately fails, to add renewed hope to his grieving heart; the author augments this statement with her final mention of desolation.

    author's commentary: um yeah. what he said.

    go ahead, try it!

  • When
    the shadow of the sash appeared on the curtains it was between
    seven and eight oclock and then I was in time again, hearing
    the watch. It was Grandfather’s and when Father gave
    it to me he said I give you the mausoleum of all hope and
    desire; it’s rather excruciating-ly apt that you will
    use it to gain the reducto absurdum of all human experience
    which can fit your individual needs no better than it fitted
    his or his father’s. I give it to you not that you may
    remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for
    a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it.
    Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought.
    The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and
    victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.

    -The Sound and the Fury

  • just watched the very excellent bay area rendition of M. Butterfly...very different from the film version:

     (can you believe how pretty this dude looks? oh how feminine you asian boys are ^.^ lol just kidding, don't throw stones at me!!)

    anyway, i went with little to no expectations. it's mountain view, after all, about as happenin' as cupertino, CA on any given day, and the production was done by a grassroots theatre company to boot (nothing like the oh-so-very-commercialized broadway.) in all, despite my reservations, it was quite impressive!

    j: do you think it's hard to find an asian guy willing to do this play?
    a: it's the bay area. there are a lot of asians...and there is SF.

     

    the cons? from the opening act, the play absolutely reeeeeked of "asian-american" agenda. then again, would you expect anything less of david hwang? M. butterfly opens with a fierce criticism of the puccini play Madame Butterfly (which, i'll have to say, does carry the unpleasant odors of imperialist thought, but come on, that was 1904!) M. butterfly's brings in the classic analogy: "imagine if a gorgeous blond homecoming queen marries a short japanese businessman...only to be abandoned by him three years later. when she finds out he has remarried in japan, she commits suicide in favor of marriage to a young kennedy! you, of course, would think she was a moron. but because in this case it was an oriental woman who kills herself for a western man, it's beautiful...a sacrifice." as the play progressed, a distinctly homosexual agenda was woven in (subtly though...so that you don't quite realize what you're being spoon-fed until the pepto-bismol is already coating your stomach.) M. butterfly: "so what? does it matter? this soft skin...this face...it's the same. this is what you were in love with all along. feel...it's the same soft skin."

    that being said, the acting was excellent, the dialogue was smart, and song liling's legs were, as expected, awesomely feminine. yes, much better than my own, especially in a high-cut qipao. you know, he was able to slowly chip at your defenses until you actually kind of thought he was a woman...until the end, when he stripped (all the way down!!), revealing a six-pack, biceps, and...well, genitalia we fortunately didn't have to see.

     

    and lots of food for thought that, out of the sheer triteness of it, i had placed on the back burner...truth v. fantasy (in most cases, where fantasy > truth), the dichotomy of asian woman/western women-

    r: nightclubs? i thought even in your own shanghai it was difficult to get into nightclubs...
    m: oh, you mean the "no dogs and chinamen" signs? don't be silly...you didn't come to shanghai to party with loud, big-thighed western women while slender lotus blossoms waited just outside the door, did you?

             -and the systematic defeminization of the chinese female during the cultural revolution (M. butterfly to the very masculine comrade chin: "THIS is what modern china thinks a woman should be like!")

     

     

    last of all, some awesome one-liners to make you want to see it more.

    m. butterfly: do you know why in chinese opera female roles are always played by men?
    female comrade: why?
    m: because only men know what they want women to act like.

    mark: yahhh she wasn't a great lay. i mean, the way she kept on waving her arms when she was on you and screaming "I'M COMING!" as if it was such big news, i mean, who cares-
    rene: oh, is that what she meant? i got scared because i thought someone was actually coming.

    ***

    btw, i just realized that some things are truly lost in translation. take Owen's famous poem "Dulce et decorum est," whose title is born from the latin phrase:

    "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori"...most commonly translated as
    "Sweet and fitting it is, to die for one's country."

    perhaps a stronger translation would be more literal however, sticking the words in the original order and placing the emphasis on the word emphasized in the latin (die)...

    Sweet and fitting it is, to, for one's country, die.

    yeah, nerdy aside :P

  • photo diary

    the wynn buffet

    me, happy BEFORE the buffet

    beena is so asian

    post buffet sadness.

    "paris"...in a nutshell

    whooo asian tourist pic!!!

    every man's dream

    every woman's dream

    actually, no, THIS is every woman's dream...

    actually, this is kind of my dream too. hah...

    rome is for lovers...but vegas is for tacky cuteness.

    ~al fin~

    and then, there was a wedding!

    my family, so rarely dressed up...

    the bride and groom...

    and most importantly, the cake

    alvin: uh je, are you drunk? you are such a...wedding crasher.

    hey, what are weddings for???

  • time to play if you're free call me!

  • i'm dooonnneee!

    now what am i going to do with all my free time??

    ***

    hehe thank yoo jannie, maiko, jennipoo, shang :)

    ***

    ok, i just answered my own question in true retarded j-style.

    first order of business...

    second order of business...

    get "a practical handbag" and "shoes for work." (haha yeah...)

    and then? work hard, play hard.

    Light | Bellagio

    Mist | Treasure Island


    Caramel | Bellagio

    tabu | MGM Grand



     tangerine lounge | treasure island

    the one i fell in love with last...

    and the one i'm realllly anticipating...



    Tryst | Wynn Las Vegas

  • one last gulp of air/post before i fade into the depths of the ocean nerd for a couple of days...

    we're finally signing the lease!!

    midtown ny, here we come...

    ~.~.~

    this is ridiculous! beauty really can be earned...(both male and female). check this out:

    christian bale in american psycho -

    christian bale in the machinist, where he went from hot and kinda creepy to...just creepy.

    eric bana in black hawk down, as stereotypical white army dude -

    eric bana in chopper - as stereotypical white trash. i really cannot believe this. it's like the most potent korean plastic surgery, in reverse.

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